butterflies

so when i was younger i found this pretty butterfly and my dad was like "do you want to start a butterfly collection?"
and i was like "yeah of course"
and then we brought it home and he put it in a jar with a swab of alcohol and it died and i was sad.
i didn't realize i'd have to kill it, i didn't collect anymore butterflies.

skip

he grabbed me.
then, all the air in the room went out.
silence.
my face burned red.
my heart stuttered
then raced to keep up.
say something.
i do not want to keep this moment.
it is just too much.

doodledoodledoodle

freezer

I went to get something out of the freezer in the laundry room and as I'm closing the door I notice that there was tofutti fake eggs in there and thought "that's weird who else in this house would use that? I just threw out mine that was from last year". So I open the door all the way and look in and notice that all the food i took out of the kitchen freezer and threw out was now in the laundry room freezer. I thought that was rather strange. Why didn't they just ask me for them while I was cleaning out the freezer? gross.

whoops

So my niece (Bella) and my friends daughter (Elle) hung out the other day, I accidentally took home Elle's toy (Sneezy one of the 7 dwarves). I put Sneezy in my purse to give to D the next time I saw her. I Was out at the bar and D asked for the dwarf so I went to my purse which I left on a chair near some friends. When I got over there someone was sitting on my jacket and purse. I grabbed the purse she appologized. I told her it was not a problem and I hardly even looked at her. I found the dwarf and noticed that my friends were looking at me and I held up Sneezy and yelled "I have to give D her dwarf back!" while still holding up this dwarf I look over and notice that the girl who was sitting on my purse was an actual Dwarf.

I want to apologize but it's been so long that the only person who would feel better is me and I don't deserve it.

randoms

wednesday:
at the lanes with a shot of jack.
Shannon points and goes "what are you doing!?"
me: "drinking."
shannon: "why?"
me: "in light of the circumstances i think i deserve it."
shannon just stared at me with that shannon look that immediately makes me feel like i'm doing something wrong and being judged for it. so i immediately try to defend myself by telling her this way i'll know how much i've actually drank and tell her it's only my second one.
and then to burst my bubble she points out "those are doubles."
oops. i was wondering why it took me two times to do the whole shot.

friday:
girl i've met on one other occasion:
"what did you do today?"
me:
"went to a funeral"
girl:
her face dropped and she immediately looked remorseful and began apologizing and rubbing my arm.
should i have said "nothing" and went on with idle chit chat?

sunday:
watching tv and annoyed with the string of depressing commercials one of those commercials about children dying people with no food or water or medical attention comes on.
they show a baby boy who is barely alive being saved and i just roll my eyes and say: "what's the point in saving that kid?"

i mean really? if i were him i'd learn how to talk immediately and tell everyone that they are all a bunch of assholes. he'll probably suffer his entire life which will probably only be for another couple of years. do him a favor and let him go.